All the festivities of the season aren’t able to keep away this melancholy.
It comes and goes.
I’m working on some miniature hot-air balloon ornaments that are turning out really cool so I’ll be sharing those soon.
But not today.
This month is already proving to be more difficult than I expected. It’s hard to “do Christmas” as usual.
I’m tormented with nagging questions.
Is this Knox’s last Christmas with us? What memories should I make with him before it’s too late?
A mother who recently lost her daughter to CS started a blog where she writes letters to her daughter in heaven. She describes my own feelings perfectly when she shares these lines:
“There was never a feeling of just relax and take in this beautiful moment…Instead always, ‘take this in because she’s going to die’ Always that CS shadow lurking. I tried to shake it, but couldn’t. It wasn’t fair. ”
This is exactly how I feel. I want to enjoy this season. I’m trying to go on as usual, but that “lurking shadow” is never far away.
Today has been a difficult day. Tomorrow will be better.
Thanks for visiting~