NEW Greeting Cards listed in Knox’s Shop


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I just added some NEW cards to Knox”s little Etsy shop.  I began the shop to raise money for  medical research back in 2011 and have kept it going in Knox’s memory, and in honor of all the beautiful children with Cockayne Syndrome around the world.

These cards are really unique, made with designer papers and accents. One set has 3 “Thank You” cards included, and the other set features 4 all-occasion cards. All the cards are blank inside, waiting for your personal message. They come with matching kraft envelopes, and will be shipped to you, along with a small information card on Cockayne Syndrome. dscf5836 dscf5837 dscf5839 dscf5840 dscf5849 dscf5851 dscf5854 dscf5846 dscf5857 dscf5856Please consider purchasing hand made greeting cards or original art this holiday season.

All proceeds are sent to medical research for Cockayne Syndrome. Thanks for stopping by!

 

*Music on the player: “Bobcat Pretzel” by John Powell

 

“Kill The Disease”-Using a Gun in Art

CS Bullets 1

Photograph: Standard range target, Permanent marker,  Glock 43,  9 mm pistol.

To learn more about Cockayne Syndrome and how you can help, please visit Share and Care Network (US) or Amy and Friends (UK) for more information.

 

I’ve been thinking about art and media.  With all the talk of gun control in the news lately, it’s hard to avoid the question: To what extent are artists influenced by political agendas?

I know my choice to use a gun in this piece may set people off, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.  February 1st will mark 2 years since my little boy was killed by mutated genes.

Many artists have used controversial imagery in the name of social justice or progressive ideals. But that’s not what I’m doing.

The target is the canvas. Bullets are the medium.  Shooting is the process.

No liberal agenda here. No conservative agenda, either.

It’s an accurate reflection of my feelings about Cockayne Syndrome and what it did to my son.

And what it’s doing to children all over the world that I love deeply.

There were no other materials that could’ve made this image as powerful. As accurate.

Honestly, it felt good to shoot up the name of this disease.

I drew my gun to draw my pain with bullets, to process the agonizing loss of my son.

What about political agendas in the arts?

I’m confident those truly devoted to freedom in the arts and progressive ideals will understand my process and embrace the way in which I choose to express myself.

 

 

Little Turtle in a Castle


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Last summer, I visited a very special friend of mine in Wales.  He has Cockayne Syndrome, like my little Knox did, and he lives in a lovely castle by the sea with his family. I love him very much and painted this turtle painting for him to celebrate the special bond our families will always share.  Notice the Welsh and Texas flags flying together from the tip of his toy castle!

This is the 4th turtle painting I’ve done for CS children around the world. You can see the one I painted for angels in California, Germany, and France.

Turtles remind me of my little boy~I paint these with his memory in my heart and send them out with my love.

The painting was created on an 8″ x 8″ wrapped canvas.
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The details for the banner were taken directly from the banner in his room.DSCF3649
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And this little bear was in his stroller.DSCF3694

Love from the Lone Star State, USA!
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Painting this tiny red dragon for the Welsh flag was tricky. I had a photo on my phone to guide me, but then I realized I had to paint it backwards since I put the flag poles on the right hand side!  DSCF3667

 

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Sending all my love across the ocean today to my precious little friend and his family in Wales, UK.

I love you, Thomas ~Scarlett (Knox’s mom)
for TB 1

Happy Birthday Knox ~ 4 Gifts Given and Received

Happy Birthday to my little son in Paradise.  Knox would be 4 years old today.

I think the hardest part is not being able to say “I love you”; not being able to hold him.

He’s been gone 5 and a half months.  I miss him terribly.

Giving gifts of love, in honor of Knox’s birthday, was the only way I could think of to say “I love you”.

First, I went to the store and picked out what I would’ve bought him if he was here.  I associate baby turtles with Knoxy because of a painting I made for him that hung above his crib.

I’m sending these clothes to a precious little boy with severe CS here in the USA,  and another identical set to a little boy with CS in England.  I love you, Knox.

Then I painted a bright turtle for a little girl with CS, also here in America.  I’ll include the process photos and finished piece in the next post. I hope she likes it!

Next, I made a new set of cards and listed them in Knox’s Etsy shop. I’ll continue to make and sell butterfly cards and other original art pieces online to support Amy and Friends CS Support in the UK.  Please visit the shop and pass on the link.  All proceeds are donated. I made a donation last week of $150 from card sales. Thank you to everyone who buys the butterfly cards!

I donated the recent proceeds from Knox’s shop to CS research through Amy and Friend’s “JustGiving” site. If you’d like to make a donation in honor of Knox’s 4th Birthday, please leave a note in the message box so I can thank you.  <3

Finally, I made a donation of books to Dell Children’s Hospital.  Knox loved books!  It’s so nice to have good books to borrow while you’re in the hospital.  I wish I was in the hospital reading a book to Knox now.

I have been given four gifts, as well. I received this gorgeous bracelet from another CS mom right here in Texas.  I absolutely love it!

 

A young artist friend of mine presented me with an amazing graphite drawing of Knox.  I loved it so much I posted it on my FB page. I know how difficult portraits are and how much time it takes to make an accurate likeness.  Thank you so much Miss E. J.! See her wonderful drawing of Knox here.  What a special gift!

Third, a friend sent me a poem he wrote about Knox.  The day it was sent to me, I had been asking the very same question presented in the title:

How Has the World Not Stopped?                                                        (2/11/14)
But I now know
that nothing
escapes a black hole.
That gravity pulls,
slowly at first,
then faster and faster
until the frail shell protecting us
collapses,
and air
no longer
surrounds us
and we are crushed.
Within the heart
of this heaviness
time ceases to exist.
The normal flow of life
is torn on the tiniest snag of circumstance
into spirals of endless repeating memories.
Eventually we’ll be spit out
into an alternate universe,
that expects us to live
as if you no longer exist
and only pities us
when we cling
to the warmth
of your presence.
The strangest part
is
that for those whose path arcs
far
from your massive absence,
life
seems unchanged.
Except,
perhaps,
for a sense of relief
at barely
having
escaped.
(c) 2014  Elwood Fischer

Thank you for this gift, Elwood.  The words are meaningful and I’m blessed.

And the fourth gift was a video.  Knox’s grandmother sent me a video she found on her iPhone of Knox’s first few moments of life. I was struck to the heart with sorrow to see Knox as a newborn again and to hear his cry.  I remember thinking how beautiful he was, and at the same time, there was a feeling of incongruity in the room that I remember, as well.  It didn’t feel like there was anything specifically wrong with Knox in that moment, but something suddenly seemed wrong with life itself.  I still don’t understand it.   The video is hard to watch but it’s a gift I wouldn’t trade.

Happy Birthday my sweet angel ~ I hope you and your Great-Grandmother are enjoying your shared birthday together today and having a wonderful time.

 

Knox,  we love you!

The Dead Dove

When people see this image they respond in different ways. Some have said it’s a photograph full of sadness, that it’s hard to look at.  Some say it’s foreboding, an ill omen of days to come.  Other are more pragmatic: The dove flew into the window and fell down dead. That’s it. It meant nothing.

My response is to turn it into art.  I can’t say that I like the image, but I also can’t deny that it holds immense significance for me.  That’s my baby. The diagnosis of his terminal illness came shortly after this dove flew into my window and died.  It’s a profound moment in time if you think about it and I wonder at myself for having had the wherewithall to get my camera and capture it.

 

I tried scraping the color away with an x-acto knife to add texture.  I liked the effect at first, but by the time I got to Knox’s face, I was crying a lot and I didn’t want to scrape any more.  Any image of him, whether photographed or drawn, is precious to me.

I left it alone.

 

Grieving my baby boy is hard work.  It’s exhausting.   The rough days at the end of his life are still bothering me and I can’t  stop thinking about what I might have done differently.  Sometimes all I want is to do is to go to sleep and not feel the pain for a little while.  But as soon as I open my eyes, there it is again.  The empty crib, the silent room, the ache of another day without hearing his voice.