It’s my birthday today!
I’m 35, and still alive.
My Dad died at age 34, and as far back as I can remember that number has stuck in my mind as the age at which my life might end. In fact, this whole year of “34” has been one of silent anxiety and fear for me. I was sick almost the entire month of July and not a few times I wondered, “Is this the end?”. There is no rational basis for these feelings. Psychoanalysts may have a multi-syllabic term for this type of paranoia; to me, it’s just fear stemming from the early loss of my father.
Now that I think about it, there may have been a subconscious reason why I chose the topic I did for my last photography class project.
But I have good news! Another year has come and gone. My lungs are still taking in air, my heart is still beating 90 beats per minute, and God evidently has things for me to do.
Being the artsy type that I am, I wanted to illustrate the significance of this birthday in some way. I made this photo memory tag as a personal keepsake, commemorating this milestone birthday that has been dreaded for so long.
I glued Bible pages with sections of genealogy from Genesis 6 on white card-stock . Line after line names someone and how long they lived. I like how “matter of fact” Biblical genealogies are. God gives every human being a certain number of years, and then it’s over-“And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.”
I wonder if my name will ever be included in a list like this? “And the days of Scarlett were —–:and she died.” God knows the number that will fill that blank, but until that number arrives, I need not fear! Like these men of old, it will be in God’s perfect timing.
I took the collaged card-stock and ran it through the BigShot machine with the “library pocket” die. I used a playing card to make the insert, trimming the sides just a bit so it would slide in and out of the pocket easily and using the tab-punch I made a tab and stapled it to the top. The reminder to “Trust God” is visible when I pull out the insert. I made some of my own ribbon by tearing strips of pink silk fabric and then brayering it with Walnut Stain Distressing Ink. I also brayered some old lace as well, cutting a small piece to matte the “35” circle on.
The pull-out tag has my “35” year old face on one side and my “35” year old feet on the other–from head to toe, I am in His hands. The verse glued to one side is Psalm 27:1- “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?”
Happy Birthday! Maybe you’ll be like Enoch…”she walked with God and she was not for God took her…” 🙂
S-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! God is good and His blessings never end.
Happy Birthday Mrs. Clay! What a great way to reflect on this day. 🙂
Hi Scarlett !
I LOVE your blog ! I am so happy that 35 arrived for you !
I know others who have struggled with the same fear.
Your art work is beautiful and so meaningful. I hope your
day is wonderful in many ways . Just know that I , for one,
couldn’t be happier that you’re still here – we have much
left to to together. I miss you ! I love you,
Jeana
How interesting that I commented on this post. When I read your post today 07/03/2011, I wondered if I knew about your blog back then. Apparently I did. Who would have ever thought either one of us would be “here”, where we are, now ? I am still so thankful that we are here together on this journey. So thankful that He is with us – even though sometimes it feels as if He’s not.
Much Love,
J
@Jeana-I’m so so very thankful I still have you, dear friend. You’ve been a support through many troubled times–Love you,Scarlett