Genetic Mutations.
Ugly sounding words, but they are very much on my mind these days as we await our son’t DNA test results.
I’ve been reading a lot about genetics lately, as you can imagine.
I don’t understand everything, but I’ve learned this much:
A hereditary mutation, which seems to be what my baby boy has, is present in every cell of the body.
EVERY SINGLE CELL.
This hasty drawing I did for the the letter “G” represents a lot of anger that I have.
God could fix this if He wanted to, and yet, I feel like He, himself, has shattered my hopes; crushing my heart with His own hand.
Dear friends of faith, don’t feel like you need to comment with some encouragement or “it’ll all work out” type sentiment.
The truth is, unless God does a miracle, it’s not going to work out.
Something the Chaplain told me in the hospital has been comforting in a wierd way.
She said much of how God works and what His will is will always be a MYSTERY.
I think that’s the only answer I’m going to get.
I haven’t walked in your shoes, but my feet hurt. I have 2 autoimmune diseases, that arrived during pregnancies . I lost my first child and gave birth to Type 1 diabetes. Last pregnancy, ended up with autoimmune thyroid. I also had a car accident that lead to back surgery and a lot of pain. People say “God can heal you”….I don’t think so. For some reason, I am on this journey. Your journey is to maybe help find a cure, who knows the plans of our path. I just wish your son wasn’t sick with this. It saddens me so, to have a disease affect a child. I know you as a Mother would rather have this disease, than your sweet boy~ I just hope n’ pray there is a way to manage it. There is no cure for me, but I manage. I hope n’ pray for you n’ your family~xXx
I hear you. You’ve been walking a rough road for a while.
It seems as though some of us have more than our share, doesn’t it?
For you and Knox, and everyone fighting illness, I pray for healthier, happier, pain-free days-Amen.
I don’t think I have any words that could make you feel better. I’m just here to offer a shoulder or a hand to hold. As a mom, I can’t fully imagine what you’re going through, but I can empathize and it hurts to even think about it. To go through it…. I’m so sorry.
And I appreciate it so much.
Thanks for continuing to stop by, even though my posts these days may not be the most smiley/happy posts. In some way, I hope I can give others a glimpse of what this is like, and maybe give others going through it something to relate to.
Have a blessed weekend-
~Scarlett
I love you…I am sorry for all of this.
Scarlett,
I just hope n’ pray you have some defining answers, no more vague. I hope your family is supporting you through this fight for Knox! He is so sweet n’ innocent; I hope n’ pray for better days for him! He shouldn’t have to endure this; Someday maybe we will know why! We all have difficult days, but there is always someone in more pain. So sad.. Bless you n’ your precious son!
xXx
Thanks, Ellen–yes, our family has really been great during this whole deal but most just don’t know what to do. I think we’ll have a defining answer soon, but deep down in my heart, I don’t think it’s going to be the answer I’ve prayed for. You are so right–others have been through more, much more. I was reading recently about one of the Puritans, John Owen, who had eleven children, and outlived them all.
I have never posted on here, but i have been subscribed to your blog for quite some time. I have lost a baby, and many loved ones. I can honestly tell you that even though it has been a couple of years, i still find that a certain song, or smell can bring the sadness back. But it is as a memory and memories whether good or sad are precious. I know that, knowing that God has the power to heal, but sometimes doesnt do it, can make you very angry. However, God has also blessed you. He gave you something so precious to love and hold and snuggle with. Someone to make you smile and laugh and cry. And that is an awesome gift. That got me through my grieving, because i would rather have known that kind of love. Also, i know that my baby is waiting in heaven for me.
There are many reasons why terrible things happen to us. In the begining i oculdnt understand why God took my baby. I like to think that it was to save her from going through a life of pain and illness, or maybe it was so that i could understand what other people go through. maybe to help them? but in the long run, my little girl is in the safest place waiting for me.
I am praying that God will heal your little one, and give you and your family the strength to get through all of this.
@Coco
Thank you.
*tears*
Scarlett – that’s right where I was emotionally when you spent that evening talking with me and then sent that lovely gift. There’s nothing I can say, because I really cannot fathom the unknowns you face right now. Just know that I am praying for you because it’s all I know to do. He IS the only one who can make this right. And it does feel too damn hard. Lord, please – carry this entire family and ease their burden. You are the only one who can.
Love to you all, Brenda
Thanks, Brenda, I know that’s true.
We miss you guys a lot.
Scarlett
I just wanted to know you aren’t alone in your battle! xXx