One day, it’s a happy post.
The next day, a sorrowful one.
What can I say?
It’s my blog and I can cry if I want to.
On the inside, I’m crying quite a bit.
This drawing isn’t supposed to be pretty. I was only trying to show how it feels when I start thinking about “What if…” and “If only….”
Because my baby boy isn’t getting better.
Rivers of sadness wash over me.
Tears trickle down, down, down…
When I share the way I’m feeling, I get a bit of relief. Other artistic bloggers know what I mean.
A member of my husband’s family recently told us that our baby’s illness is God’s judgment upon our family for decisions we’ve made in the past.
More tears fall.
The devil sure does know how to keep me down.
Dear Scarlett, please, please don’t listen to that member of your husband’s family. That has to be the most hurtful, insensitive, insane comment I’ve ever heard.
Oh mama, there’s nothing I can say. Talk all you want on here, cry all you want, do whatever you need to do. I’m so sorry.
Scarlett sweetheart, You know that member of B’s family is wrong wrong wrong and you know that!! Some people are so troubled in their own life that they only know how to strike out cruelly to others, their blindness is their responsibility. You know who you are and the only one who matters knows the truth of who you are and your family! Please don’t you ever let evil words that are cast upon you be anywhere close to what myself and others know to be the truth of the Clay family. I could not be any prouder of you and the way you are dealing with the hand that has been dealt. I can only imagine the pain and suffering of what if’s you must be going through. With that knowledge I can say with strong conviction that I could not disagree more with the judgement that this young man and I stress young man has cast your way. So please dismiss, his thought’s, those words, and go about your day just as you have been doing, knowing that in your heart and soul you and Brandon have done the very best job you know how to do for your beautiful children and they are all the better for having you both of you as parents. I am being as sincere about that as knowing that May will follow April. I wish I could take some of this burden you have been given and lighten it in anyway but I just don’t know how. I can just say I love you, stay strong, and always know that you have a world of friends and family out there that know the wonderful loving people that you both are. Seeing all of you this weekend was such a blessing and I treasure that time. Loving you always, Aunt Melanie!!!
That statement is crazy; I have had many trials, but it has nothing to do with God’s judgement. I can’t imagine anyone saying this…so horrible. I come from a decent family, when I saw my Dad die, my Mom developed a disease, it had nothing to do with judgement. Life followed that path, why I don’t know…. I mean, why would anyone say that to someone in pain. Is this why only certain people suffered during the tornadoes in my area this weekend. No, it doesn’t work that way. I just hope n’ pray your sweet boy gets better;they must be eliminating diseases and trying to narrow it down. I hope the dots connect for all of you soon, you need to know what your son is dealing with and then what can be done to help him. Any family history clues… xXx saying a prayer for your precious son, you n’ yours~
The Louis family and friends are praying…..
I do not know you and nor do you know me, but as a pastor, bible teacher, husband, father, and grandfather, what you shared as touched me and also made me so angry that I truly needed to repent. Why do people who do not know God nor His precious word say such hellish things.
First, God does not punish his children. He punished their sins in Christ on Calvary. Illnesses exist as a result of Adam’s sin and rebellion. We live in a world that sickness is the penalty for sin.
Second, a true child of God may be subject to chastisement if they enter into sin and refuse to repent of that sin. Chastisement is not punishment or judgement. It is a loving Father gently nudging his children back to the right path. All true children of God are chastised periodically proving they are true children of God. When we recognize our sin and confess the chastisement ceases.
Third, true children of God will suffer persecution, trials, tests, tribulations, and testings. These are designed by God to cause us to rest in Him, to trust Him, to see Hi grace and mercy. All true children of God are given grace to reduce our own independence and to grow in God’s grace and a relationship with God.
Fourth, I don’t the circumstances of your child’s illness. We have no promise in the bible that God will answer every prayer the way we want them answered, nor is there a promise that we will be delivered from or kept from the pain of the death of a child. But God has promised that his grace is sufficient to sustain us, to comfort us, and to drive us to him in love like hurts and falls and broken hearts drive our children to us for comfort.
Fifth, there are no faith healers, no miracle workers that can change the sovereign plan of God. God is wiser than us, more kind and loving than us and has a plan which sometimes we come to know and sometimes we don’t.
Sixth, God is loving and gracious. When David and Bathsheba’s baby became ill shortly after birth, David fasted, prayed, wept and pleaded for God to spare the child’s live. God could have done so. But for reasons only know to God, He chose not to allow the child to live and remove the sickness. the baby died. David got up, dressed, washed, and ate – He had learned long ago that God is so gracious to always to the right thing and that one day He would join his baby boy.
Sometimes we do not know and we never learn why a trial, testing, tribulation, heart-ache, sickness, or even death is visited upon us. But we know that God is real, God is perfect, God is wise, and that God is loving. Trust Him! Not people who do not know the God of the bible nor the character of God nor the workings of God and who do not know His word. If you wish, you may email me and I will pray with you and lead through the truths of scripture that will not promise the outcome you are truly wanting but the true living and gracious God of the Bible. My prayers are with you, first that perhaps God will help and heal, but second, that this experience isn’t wasted, wasted by failing to come to know and love our gracious God even more to His praise and glory, and that you rest in His grace that will forever sustain you!
Gregg Metcalf
Colossians 1:28-29
Gospel-driven Disciples
oh my goodness~~praying for you and your family!
That comment from your family member was cruel and uncalled for~~~
People can state and say the most horrible things we are down…or when we are hurting.
Christ’s barring the world on the cross and rising again is our hope and internal life and his grace is over flowing for each of us!
Amen to what Gregg shared above!!
Kay Ellen
Scarlett,
I wouldn’t have thought it possible for someone to cause you more pain. But I see someone found a way. Amazing.
I’m supposed to be good with words. But I sit down to talk with you, and I find I’m lacking. I suspect others feel the same. If you’ve found silence in quarters where you’d thought to find comfort, maybe those friends and family are a bit lost, too, and can’t find words, and can’t find a way to tell you that.
Maybe someone close to you, reading this, can remind them a card or call or hug would be nice. Nothing fancy. Just a “we love you.” Just to let you know you’re not alone.
Because it can feel that way.
As for the kindly village idiot born into your husband’s family who shared his insight into God with you, he is, after all, the village idiot, and evidently had the Gospel excised from his Bible, and must be overlooked, and is best forgotten.
Or, if you prefer, I live in a rural community, can lay hands on many many feathers, and I also have access to tar. Just a thought.
I’m not a preacher or a prophet, Scarlett. I’m just a guy who, more than some and far less than others, has questioned the nature of God.
I don’t claim to know the will of God. Nor do I know His mind. But I think I know His heart. And I don’t believe He would any more harm your baby, than you would harm one of your children to benefit another. Does that make sense?
When it comes down to it, I think we’re just dust and light. Blood and bone and the breath of God. That bit of breath is perfect and goes on forever. But that dust fashioned into blood and bone, it’s just a fancy machine.
Machines break. No one can tell us why some run a hundred years without a hitch, and some run only a day.
I’ve asked. I still ask. I haven’t an answer one for you, or for me.
If we were neighbors, I’d bring your family cookies and tea and leave you with hugs, and you’d find me useless but well-meaning. But since we’re not, I’ll leave you with this conversation. Useless but well-meaning.
Keeping you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.
And Scarlett–keep in mind the tar and feathers.
I totally agree with your aunt, Scarlett…those words are lies from the pit and are meant to be cast out. God adores you and your precious family…let His loving promises from His Word penetrate your hearts and spirits right now. I’m praying for the grace for you all to soak in and receive His love more fully day by day. We continue to pray for Knox’s healing: spirit, soul and body, and that you all would be even more aware of the Spirit of God being your Constant Companion. “The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
Scarlett,
None of us has the answer and the one who thinks she does, well, she’s just lying to you.
Thanking God for some really wise advise from Gregg. This is experience is not wasted; nothing God brings us is.
But I know that doesn’t make it easier. And I don’t know what to say or do to make it easier. But know that we love you and are standing with you and Baby K, and we are continually petitioning our Father on your behalf.
Love you (and so do lots of others!!!)
Noel
Scarlett…I am dumbfounded that someone could be that cruel, ignorant, and insensitive. God does NOT work that way. In reading these comments from people that care about you, one thing stood out for me, especially as a nurse:
From Joe: (comment above) “But that dust fashioned into blood and bone, it’s just a fancy machine. Machines break. No one can tell us why some run a hundred years without a hitch, and some run only a day.”
No answers here either. It’s medicine’s greatest mystery. We live in a fragile world, and unless we keep our eyes on the Lord, life will be reduced to bitter emptiness. I am also in complete agreement with the same person’s comment that “..I don’t believe He would any more harm your baby, than you would harm one of your children to benefit another.”
We are His children, and to me, as a mother, that says it all.
Personally, I have had my share of hardship within my family (which I won’t go into here) and I can’t blame God, nor think he was punishing us somehow.
I have had times when I questioned Him, even been angry at Him – I talk to Him openly…but I honestly do not believe He was punishing anyone for anything. Some of it is just..life…just what we have to cope with living in this world. Thank the Lord we DO have Him. And I wish I had better words to comfort you with than these, but know I’m here, and standing with you and your family in support.
<3 HUGS
You know the truth my precious sister . I am praying that your heart and mind will be protected.
That would be a very good prayer to pray at this time for me–thanks sweet friend–Love,
Scarlett